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What to Do When Horrible Kids Come to Visit
By Jan Morris
The phrase "horrible kids" can describe kids that range in age from toddler to teen, but for this article we will concentrate on disciplining awful toddlers that visit your home.
The terrible toddler is all about power plays. You live in California, home to movie moguls and superstars, so you have seen power plays, right? This toddler is starting them young, but fortunately, you can handle this temper throwing tiger without displacing a hair on your head.
Here is how you do it.
From the moment you pick up that the toddler is bent on destroying your home, your guests' concentration, or your nice peaceful demeanor, you authoritatively make eye contact with the child (use your hands to restrain them from damaging something if that is about to occur), and in your best adult voice - hard stares and raised volume included (and totally ignoring the parent, I'll explain why later), you inform them that this type of behavior is not allowed in your home and they need to return to their seat and behave. Be sure to put some force in your voice, as they never hear true authority in their home, so you will have to be forceful to get their attention.
They will look at mom or dad, trying to gauge their reaction to you and your words, so they will know whether to take you seriously, so be sure that you give off the "don't even think about questioning my authority in my own home" attitude to the parent(s) - but never making eye contact with them, yet always maintaining eye contact with the child.
If the parent is offended, so be it. They should be more worried about offending you in your home by bringing such an unruly child. They can always leave if they don't want to make their child show respect, right? So keep that attitude, or else you will be dealing with this situation every time they visit. You have to convince the parents you mean business as much as you do the kids!
The toddler may appear to be subservient at first, especially if mom and dad are projecting a fearful air of offending you themselves, but trust me: a terrible toddler will have a test run at you again to see if you are serious. In fact, all kids of any age do that, so be prepared for it and handle it swiftly with action when it comes.
If you have an outdoor area that is fenced in and they couldn't harm themselves with anything out there (and weather is permitting), put them outside and move the adult conversation to a room in the house which affords a view of it. Act like this is just the way things are done and they will all follow along like ducklings trailing their mother.
This is the best way to handle children bent on destroying your home during their outbursts. It allows you to make sure they don't harm anything, that they don't keep interrupting the conversation, and that when they come back they will have to have good behavior to get to stay indoors.
If a secure and fenced in outdoor area is not available, or you couldn't watch it from indoors, put them in your least decorated room in the house, along with some type of project they can work on: coloring books and crayons are not a good idea if they decide to get artsy with your walls, choose something like paper dolls or matchbox cars.
Again, if the parents take issue, let them know that you would welcome a visit when junior isn't with them, since junior can't seem to respect your home and is such a distraction.
Toddlers are the most difficult horrible kids to manage, as their parents make them worse by trying to appease them, but the technique mentioned above to deal with them should be used on any aged child who attempts to be destructive in your home: immediate removal from any opportunity to do so. Don't let anyone forget that it's your house and what you say goes!
Powerhouse Kids Play Well With Others
By Kate Nelson
Do your kids play well with others? Powerhouse Music, Acting and Dance Lessons prides itself on the age old practice of play. From pursuing an instrument to studying a scene to choreographing a series of dance movements, the result of individual hard work is truly most rewarding when experienced as part of the group's triumph. Whether it's a audience chanting your child's name after his band rocks the house, performing an exceptionally well executed play or a stunning synchronized dance performance, relating to others begins with a number of skills that are essentially learned through creative play. Regardless of the discipline, these skill sets are integral to any successful presentation of a body of work.
Parents know that when kids play together in a band they have a lot of fun, but they might be surprised to know the wide range of important skill sets that are included within the process of developing a band. To begin with it is simply the personal discipline of learning the instrument. For some people simply the pursuit is enough but for others it is jumping onto a stage and commanding the audience's attention that is truly worth the effort. There is much joy in showing off all those hours of hard work - while making it look easy of course! The lessons of being in a band are often overlooked by the new rock star but what eventually becomes clear is the negotiation of competing schedules and an unwavering commitment to show up lay the foundation for future success. Not unlike any other business, the band's success as a group is rooted in personal accountability. Each person has to make an effort to learn the material that is agreed upon together with the other members of the group, which takes dedication and perseverance. As the band progresses there are decisions to make about the overall look and feel of the music that is performed - all of which are determined by the dynamics of the group. Here negotiation skills play a key role. Once on the stage, which persona is actually stepping up there? The camaraderie and chemistry of the band comes full circle when preparation meets performance. Audiences determine whether a show is successful or not by how the members of the band play well with others.
For kids who are interested in acting it is widely accepted that the function of really listening to others is what the process calls for the most. By actually hearing and processing what the other actors are saying one is able to play off the situation and return the favor of listening back. In an effort to tell a story we are taught through play how to incorporate elements that will truly establish a scene and lend a vehicle that will support the story. What we have discovered at Powerhouse Actors Studio is the young actor is learning what is immediately interesting by modeling behavior. How an individual learns has an important role in developing skill sets that are displayed easily at play.
On the subject of dance we would just like to invite you to a fundraiser for one of our students. We have just learned that Satori Folkes has secured one of forty spots in the Alvin Ailey Summer Dance Intensive this year. Powerhouse Actors Studio and Music Lessons is proud to host Satori's Teen Party Hip Hop /PoP Fundraiser helping her head to NYC so she can participate in this intensive world class summer dance program representing California. Powerhouse Actors Studio and Music Lessons are holding an extra fun event for all teens 12-17 years old AND Cool parents too. Get your Party on May 30th, (Saturday) from 7:30 to 11:30pm at Powerhouse Teen Scene at 19520 Nordhoff Street in Northridge, CA 91324 between Corbin and Tampa, near Guitar Center at the rear of the plaza. Only $12 in advance and $15 cash at the door. Happenings for the evening are a Hip Hop DJ, Satori and her crew will perform a bomb Hip Hop number! Surprise Guest! $100 give away for the best Hip Hop Dance Crew! Register now and show your stuff. Dress to impress! For more information or call:
(818) 993-5951.