Wall-E
By Dominic von Riedemann

Pixar has done it again with Andrew Stanton's film WALL-E, according to an anonymous spy report. Disney/Pixar flick opens June 27, 2008.

If a sneak preview is any indication, Pixar is continuing its winning ways with WALL-E. An anonymous spy report says that Pixar's 2008 offering is another "spectacular" film from a studio that has yet to release a stinker.

"Monday evening a few friends and I saw what I presume was one of the first test screenings of WALL-E at the Lloyd Center," says the anonymous spy, writing to The Oregonian scribe Shawn Levy. "John Lassater (sic) was sitting behind us."

So what did this spy think of the partially-completed movie? "Pixar has done it again," he (or she) says, admitting a fondness for the studio's previous flick. ". . . Ratatouille was simply lovely and WALL-E is just as good if not better in it's (sic) own special way."

WALL-E "Darker" Than Previous Pixar Films
According to the report, the film "has a much darker tone than any other Pixar film thus far. People complained about this aspect in the focus group (see morons!), but I think they were failing to see that the tone was very much intentional and serves the story and the final outcome."

Earlier rumours claimed that WALL-E was going to be dialog-free for the first third of the movie. This spy report confirms this, also saying " . . . the first 30 to 45 minutes is just spectacular. There is no dialog, just simple actions and character's expressions of WALL-E, the cockroach Hal, and this robot that appears named EVE."

The spy claims that ". . . for a film that was roughly 80% complete with a plethora of storyboards and partially completed animation throughout, I was completely immersed!"

Temporary Soundtrack Takes Cues From Star Wars, Punch-Drunk Love, Brazil
"As the film was a work in progress the score was a temp track amalgam of John William's (sic) scores including some Star Wars cues (very subtle, discrete (sic) ones), some Superman music, music from Star Trek 2, Punch Drunk-Love(!!!), Brazil, and a few other films," the spy continues. "But it worked so brilliantly I would almost rather see the film released that way . . ."

"Ultimately this film is a very large step in direction towards . . . further raising the standard of quality Pixar films that much higher above the competition. There are no 'it' celebs of the moment in the film, nor a catchy pop song on the soundtrack . . . just quality storytelling."

Pretty high praise indeed, and is sure to get the salivary glands sizzling from Pixar fanboys (and girls) everywhere. Will WALL-E be yet another brilliant Pixar film? Will director Andrew Stanton and the rest of the Emeryville gang listen to the focus groups and tone down the darkness in the current script?

Find out when WALL-E opens June 27, 2008.

'THE PROMOTION'
FOOLS ON A RETAIL FLOOR
By Sean Chavel

Two ordinary guys engage in an unofficial contest. They are played by Sean William Scott and John C. Reilly as assistant managers at a grocery store who both vie for a manager position at a new store location. How dirty will these guys get to make each other look incompetent in front of the corporate board? Not very dirty. Just some tattle-telling and counterfeit complaints. The Promotion is a dinky little comedy that tries for subtle everyday humor but fails to register any laughs or surprises.

It's hard to say what the film is going after here. That nice guys will compromise their niceness if in pursuit of a promotion? Doug (Scott) and Richard (Reilly) develop a mild camaraderie between them, but the trap is they both want this job. It means more pay and benefits! Doug needs the job to win back the respect of his wife (Jenna Fischer, plump and supportive) and to afford the purchase of their first house together. Richard is getting up there in his years, and a promotion would mean a rebound from his past misfortunes with substance addiction.

Which one of these guys is more mature and responsible? The method of both Doug and Richard is make the other guy looked flawed in front of regional supervisors. That's not a problem since both guys make their own selves look silly. Doug is caught stealing customer evaluation cards and Richard is caught speaking inappropriately foul on the retail floor. At a corporate retreat, one of them allows the other to look like a buffoon.

At this point we're getting the drift that nothing special is happening in this movie. It's trying to be the retail version of "Office Space," but its satirical jabs are short of imagination. And it certainly doesn't have the spontaneity of TV's "The Office." It could have been funnier if the desperation in both men was raised over the course of time, but the desperation level is flat-lined. We know from the start what the manager job means to both guys, and nothing really is escalated to raise the stakes. A late-arrival third character to compete for the promotion might have been something the film could have worked with. The film seems to have a lack of ideas.

There are of course exceptions. One single good running gag that has Doug dealing unsuccessfully with a bunch of rude black teenagers who hang around a parking lot and occasionally harass customers. Doug is given a week-long parking lot patrol, and it is exasperating duty. The end result of his ineffective duty should kill his promotion chances, but this is rather an isolated development that has little to do with the overall outcome. Regional supervisors seem to have a case of incident forgetfulness and so Doug and Richard are still considered after making countless questionable mistakes.

We're supposed to root for Doug, I suppose, because he was introduced in the film first and his wife (Fischer) is patient and compliant. "The Promotion" marks the directorial debut of Steve Conrad who wrote two good films before this one, "The Weather Man" and "The Pursuit of Happyness." He should have abandoned his own script and held out to direct another script. Conrad even shamelessly borrows from the ending of "Happyness" to lame results.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan
By Brendan Cullin

Rarely does a summer go by that an Adam Sandler movie doesn't hit theatres. The summer of 2008 is no different.

In the summer of '08 movie, Sandler plays an Israeli counter-terrorist named Zohan, who has grown weary of fighting Arabs in the Middle East in "You Don't Mess With The Zohan". After faking his own death in a frenzied battle with a Palestinian terrorist named The Phantom (John Tuturro), Zohan moves to New York City to pursue his one true passion - hairstyling. He gets a job at a local salon and operates under the moniker of Scrappy Coco, where he becomes an instant hit with the geriatric female population of the Big Apple. Scrappy loves his new life until some local Arabs recognize the former commando and take it upon themselves to expose the imposter.

"You Don't Mess With The Zohan" is probably Sandler's most risqué project to date, in that it really tows the line with its racial stereotyping and sexual content. Once the movie ended, I wondered to myself if this sort of comedy was Sandler's response to The Judd Apatow Gang's hit comedies that have hit the theatres in the last couple of years but when the credits started rolling and I saw Apatow's name listed as one of the writers, it all made sense. I'd be interested in hearing how much Apatow contributed to Zohan's script because it really seemed to have a lot more penis and sex jokes than we would normally see in an Adam Sandler movie. I have to say, for the most part, those jokes worked. Every time Zohan walked into that back room of the salon with an 80-year old woman and finished her "haircut", I laughed my ass off. Those jokes never grew old. But some of the other penis and pubic hair jokes that resonated throughout the movie were either a hit or a miss or just plain disturbing. And the racial stereotyping is sure to have the Arab community up in arms - again, some of the jokes were actually quite funny and others were just plain stupid.

In the end, my reaction to "You Don't Mess With The Zohan" is a mild thumbs up. I've always been an Adam Sandler fan, so I want to like his movies no matter what. Although Zohan isn't nearly as bad as a movie as "Little Nicky", it definitely does not rank as one of the great Adam Sandler movies. It follows the usual Sandler formula with a sort of underdog in a sticky situation, a hot chick thrown in and a bunch of penis and fart jokes to tie things up. There's the usual cameos by a handful SNL alumni and appearances by some other Sandler regulars like Henry Winkler and John McEnroe. Of course, in the end, everything works out for the hero and, as expected, he gets the lady, who I must say is quite an attractive one to boot. I laughed quite a few times throughout the movie but I also found some of the jokes to be a bit lame and I was pretty disappointed in his supporting cast, which always seems to be one of the strengths of a Sandler movie. Guys like John Tuturro, Rob Schneider and Kevin Nealon just didn't bring it this time around. Usually Tuturro or Schneider are good for a few laughs but I can't remember one thing they did in the movie that would have made me chuckle.

If you do decide to see Zohan, I'm sure you will be amused at times but not much more than that. Zohan is a movie with a weak story even for an Adam Sandler movie, a few unfunny jokes that just repeat themselves throughout the film (the pubic hair and hummus jokes just didn't do it for me) and a fairly disappointing supporting cast. I'm not saying it's a horrible movie but don't expect "Zohan" to be this summer's hit comedy like "Knocked Up" or "Superbad" were last year, because if you are expecting that, you will surely be setting yourself up for a letdown.