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Decorating your Child's Room with Confidence
By Joseph Wahl

What I have found out about being creative whether it be singing, cooking, painting, gardening, decorating or pretty much any artistic endeavor, it is always done better with confidence. When anything is done with confidence, the viewer/ audience can really feel the positive energy. Even when something goes wrong, it still can be a 'tour de force' if done with zeal. It reminds me of the scene in the new movie about Julia Child where she says, and I am paraphrasing, "Never make excuses to your guests about the food you serve." What she means by this is, and I am a firm believer, be confident! What you might think is a mistake or you might have done differently, nobody will notice or care.

When it comes to decorating your child's room, the formula is no different. Have courage, be creative. Do whatever you want. There are really no rules! Try to look at the room like a movie set and take it step by step as you layer the room first with paint colors then furniture placement, lighting, art and finally accessories. When I begin decorating a child's room, I usually start with the wall color scheme. I consult with the child, depending on their age, then look in a color deck and go for it. My advice here is just be a little careful about colors that are too bright or very dark and always paint the ceiling white. Put sample patches of colors on the walls to try it before you buy it. Maybe you want to paint several colors in the room. Sometimes it's a good compromise to paint one wall that bright lime color your little girl is begging for with softer tones on the other walls. Maybe choose one wall to be painted with chalkboard paint. Another idea is to drape inexpensive fabric like scrim on one wall. It is so important to inspire your children to be creative.

When placing the furniture, try unique arrangements. Usually there are only one or two places the bed will fit. Start with the bed and then go from there placing the side table, dresser, bookcase, desk etc… Another good idea is placing glass on top of a dresser or desk. This gives your child a place to put photos, art, and anything that is important to them while maintaining a clean look. Most rooms are very angular and because of this, I often like to put bookcases on the diagonal in a corner. This helps break up the monotony of a square room. Also, consider using unique items that are not typically used as furniture for the side tables. I have used small toy pianos, rolling tool bins, earthy tree stumps; upside down, galvanized trashcans… have fun!

When it comes to lighting, it is most important to have sufficient overhead lighting, preferably canned lighting, especially over the bed so your child can easily read at night. Next is finding some cool lighting fixtures for the side table lamp and the desk lamp and maybe a chandelier or overhead fixture. My experience tells me that these are all best used for mood lighting. A lot of great inexpensive lighting can be found at flea markets. Look for the fixture that is more art than lamp, something with a fun base and a funky shade or vice versa!

It is important when choosing your art and accessories that you are not "decorating" with them. Everything you put on the wall should mean something to you and your child. It could be an old photo of Grandpa or Zayda blown up or something you saved from your childhood room, a framed letter, or poem that you love. My wife and I just found the list of prospective boy and girl names we made before our first child was born (we decided to name him Emerson). We are framing it right now. The key to loving the room you decorate is loving the things you put in it. I can honestly say everything in our house I love...everywhere I look is something that has meaning to me.

Be creative, be confident, and be honest in your decorating and you and your child will love the room you end up with for many years to come.

Joseph Wahl Arts Monday-
Saturday 10:30am & 5:30pm
5305 Topanga Cyn. Blvd.
Woodland Hills, CA 91364
Phone (818)340-9245
josephwahlarts.com

Tips for Parenting a Teen
By Nasrin Barkhordari, MA., MFT, Personal Growth Institute

Help, I don't recognize my little girl/boy! Teen years can be confusing and challenging for both parents and teens. Parents have to deal with issues such as early onset of puberty, social networking Web sites, cell phone use, censorship reductions, activity overload and limited family time. The best thing a parent can do is educate themselves through reading articles, attending parenting sessions and developing relationships with therapists.

Your Relationship with Your Teen

Create space, but have time for fun and connection. Plan vacations, family fun nights, movie nights, etc. Just have fun and keep the mood light, conversing through small talk. Don't have serious conversations unless they are willing participants.

Significance of Peer Relationships

The teenage years are about becoming more independent. They are used to looking for guidance from mom and dad, so to become independent, they turn to their peers. Turning to their friends is normal and healthy. Give their friends respect and importance. Get to know them. One way you can do that is by making your house inviting to them. Also, make sure you give them the space they need to hang around comfortably with their friends, but be close enough to be available.

Troubled Friends

What do you do if you think a friend is a bad influence? Hopefully, you raised your teen with good values, trust, respect, privacy, empathy and kindness: so capitalize on that. Don't tell them they can't be friends with that person. That rarely goes well and creates resentment and trust issues. Instead, talk gently with your teen about the friend by stating that you feel they might be lonely, in trouble, etc. State that this friend may need some help and that your son or daughter could be a good friend for them. This doesn't mean you have to allow your teen to run off with them whenever they want, be watchful and create barriers in order to prevent problems. If barriers are broken, or the relationship is creating problems for your teen, then have your teen come up with solutions and create consequences together. If it happens again, state that they can no longer have the relationship without a lot of supervision until the wall of trust is built again.

Dating and Sex

Talking with your teen about dating and sex is very uncomfortable for most parents. You don't have to wait to have a long lecture before you make your opinions known. You can comment on bulletin boards, TV shows, etc. If you hear clues that your child would like to respond, then gently listen. If they disagree with you, try to understand their side. Don't try to win every battle, but hold onto your standards and values where it is important. If they are dating, encourage them to bring the girl/boy around, but create boundaries. Also, explain the importance of protecting themselves, their heart and their body.

When to Seek Help

Unfortunately, seeking professional help is not culturally welcomed by teens. For some teens, counseling is embarrassing and they think there is something wrong with them. However, therapy is wonderful for parents. Therapy helps parents feel encouraged and knowledgeable. Now if the teen's eating habits and behaviors suddenly change and the teen is experiencing anxiety or depression, then they need to seek professional help. Some teens will learn to accept and like the process.

Nasrin Barkhordari, MA., MFT, psychotherapist at the Personal Growth Institute, a non-profit agency dedicated to the emotional and behavioral health for individuals, couples, children, teens and families for the advancement of their personal growth through education, intervention and guidance.

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