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Setting Rules and Disciplining Your Child
By Tulin Orden

The best way to prevent violent behavior is to give your child a stable, secure home life with firm, loving discipline and full-time supervision during the toddler and preschool years. Everyone who cares for your child should agree on the rules he's expected to observe as well as the response to use if he disobeys. Whenever he breaks an important rule, he should be reprimanded immediately so that he understands exactly what he's done wrong. Your youngster has little natural self-control. He needs you to teach him not to kick, hit, or bite when he is angry, but instead to express his feelings through words. It's important for him to learn the difference between real and imagined insults, and between appropriately standing up for his rights and attacking out of anger.

The best way to teach these lessons is to supervise your child carefully when he's involved in disputes with his playmates. As long as a disagreement is minor, you can keep your distance and let the youngsters solve it on their own. However, you must intervene when children get into a physical fight which continues even after they're told to stop, or when one child seems to be in an uncontrollable rage and is assaulting or biting the other. Pull the children apart and keep them separate until they have calmed down. If the fight is extremely violent, you may have to end the play session. Make it clear that it doesn't matter who "started it." There is no excuse for trying to hurt each other.

Help your child find ways to deal with his anger without resorting to violence. Teach him to say no in a firm tone of voice, to turn his back, or to find compromises instead of fight- ing with his body. Through example, teach him that settling differences with words is more effective and more civilized - than with physical violence. Praise him and tell him how "grown-up" he is acting whenever he uses these tactics instead of hitting, kicking, or biting.

Always watch your own behavior around your child. One of the best ways to teach him nonviolence is to control your own temper. If you express your anger in quiet, peaceful ways, he probably will follow your example. If you must punish him, do not feel guilty about it and certainly don't apologize. If he senses your mixed feelings, he may convince himself that he was in the right all along and you are the "bad" one.

While punishing your child is never pleasant, it is a necessary part of parenthood and there is no reason to feel guilty about it. Your child needs to understand when he is in the wrong so that he will take responsibility for his actions and be willing to accept the consequences.

Raising Teenagers by Setting Boundaries
By Norbert Georget

Raising a healthy teen requires taking a broad approach toward meeting the needs of your teenager. Yes, it is important to address diet, exercise, and eating and sleeping habits, but it is also important to help your teen to be emotionally healthy as well. From about the ages of 12 through 24, the human brain undergoes significant changes and development, and between the hormone surges and emotional immaturity combined with a strong desire for independence, being the parent becomes even more challenging than it already was.

Because body image is such a critical factor in self-esteem, the way your teen eats is important. Having the proper nutrients makes a difference. Even if your teen struggles with weight issues, you should not encourage him or her to diet or starve but to make healthier choices about what they eat. Instead of buying potato chips for snack, buy baby carrots. Instead of grabbing fast food for dinner, make meals at home. Most teenagers are still growing and therefore require a lot of nutrients to help with proper development of the brain and body. Since your teen's bones are still growing, meals should have sufficient calcium and other minerals like iron and zinc. The diet should consist of plenty of carbohydrates to provide the body with enough energy, as well as fruits, vegetables, and protein. (Quick, easy meals like spaghetti and meatballs offer a great solution for meeting nutrition needs without needing too much time).

All kids need a physical outlet for their energy and emotions. If your child is not involved in sports, encourage him or her to ride a bike, walk to school, go swimming, or find some other active hobby. A healthy teen is one whose time in front of the computer and video games is limited and monitored. Your teen needs fresh air, free time, and time away from the TV set and off the couch.

A healthy teen is a teen that not only has access to healthy food choices and encouragement to exercise regularly but also a supportive atmosphere in which to try out his or her newfound independence. They should be allowed to socialize with their friends and have a level of independence that grows as they demonstrate increasingly capable responsibility.

As a parent, you can foster independence by encouraging your teen to take responsibility for his or her choices, by increasing the amount of responsibility your teen has around the house and in making life decisions, and by letting your teen experience the consequences of his or her actions.

The most important thing you can do to have a healthy teen is to be open, honest, supportive, and there. Being available for your teen when he or she needs someone to talk to or needs someone to place boundaries and set guidelines and stay firm can give your child the sense of security and safety he or she needs.

Raising a healthy teen takes time, effort, and a lot of patience, but the effort you put in now will pay off in many ways.

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